


Orange UDLs

by flavourless_fiction



Series: Aussie Voltron HELL [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Australia, Alternate Universe - Australian Rules Football, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Australian Slang, Best Friends, Closeted Character, Comedy, Cursed AU, Drinking, Drunken Kissing, Emotional Roller Coaster, Friendship/Love, M/M, Swearing, This is agressively Australian, This is the product of a server that went mad with power, Underage Drinking, so much swearing, they're australian of course there's loads of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 04:53:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16190483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flavourless_fiction/pseuds/flavourless_fiction
Summary: Being the two underage members of the footy team wasn't too bad, at least the boys had brought them drinks right? Keith couldn't imagine they'd do anything too stupid.





	Orange UDLs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [garcconne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/garcconne/gifts).



> This is super cursed and formed out of the ANZ Voltron discord going mad with an extremely relatable AU.

Back in primary school if a kid had come up to Keith saying they’d heard he and James Griffin were best friends he would have coined the phrase; ‘Tell him he’s dreaming’. Actually if he had of heard it two years ago he would have said something similar, likely filled with more colourful language that wasn't a not so subtle movie quote. He wasn’t even entirely sure how they’d gotten from hating each other to spending most of their free time together.

Footy could probably be to blame, well… thank.

Being the strongest players in a 16s side but having different assets allowed them to appreciate each other. So many weekends were they’d have two hours on a field together not to mention then hanging around and watching the seniors. One day of every weekend spending from eight in the morning until 6 in the evening for the better part of six months, plus an extra hour or two of training each week was enough to force a bonding experience in anyone.

Looking back on it, it didn’t make sense that they’d hated each other for so long, yes shitty side comments were made all too often for years. However, they had enough in common that a sort of mateship realistically should have formed when they were six and too stupid to be offended for more than a recess break. To James’ credit he had been enough of a prick when he was younger to be the first person Keith told to fuck off.

Now look where they were, sitting in their shitty room in the caravan park whilst the rest of their teammates got to go to whatever crappy bar that this backwater town had… probably an R.S.L. Club. The two team babies, who were both still several months away from their eighteenths got stuck with a few stubbies and a six pack of UDLs and a deck of cards. If there was even one more person they could have played kings cup, but instead they sat on the floor flicking cards at each other whilst sipping at their drinks.

Just two in and Keith realised it was hitting him, James seemed to be more tolerant than he was but it didn’t take long for him to catch up. “I thought you were going to be boring tonight and act like we needed to study… The HSC trials, despite being in August when it’s May, are very important.” The second statement was said in a far more mocking tone that the former, Keith miming pushing one’s glasses up the bridge of his nose.

“Do you reckon you could be any less of a poofter?” James grumbled, throwing most of his pile of cards at Keith. “Also I didn’t bring anything to study with so I can’t.” This earned a few snickers, picking up the cards around him, Keith couldn’t help but be amused by how easy it was to goad James into getting riled up about school.

They both knew the other was into guys, Keith knowing that the comment was more than likely a comment about his haircut than a joke about his sexuality. “You keep up this attitude and I’m going to have to double my friends, maybe this one will be more interested in a pash than you were that one time.”

“You came out after a quote unquote tac vom and then tried to get me to kiss you. I was drunk but not that drunk.”

Keith laughed softly, resting back on his elbows. “So Griffo admits he’d tongue his best mate. That’s pretty gay, cunt.”

The sound that he earns seems to be a scoff, but pretty soon James is laughing too, getting up and getting each of them another drink. This time sitting beside him. Either he’d gotten a hint or Keith’s relaxed position had brought James towards him. “What’s the time?”

He hears the cans being opened first, before it’s handed to him, out of the corner of his eye seeing James pull his phone out. “It’s just after eleven, lock out is half past one but depending on what this town has they latest they’ll get out of somewhere is three… then maybe they’ll stop for food.” Sometimes he wondered just how James knew what he was truly asking in his questions, although it could have always been an instance of the other thinking aloud.

Placing the can down, Keith pushes himself onto his side, capturing James’ attention in an instant, Keith watching as he took a long sip. Hopefully contemplating the exact thing that was on his mind. “Why did you let them buy us such shitty drinks?”

“Get fucked, this is your fault.” James is quick, before Keith sees that his drink has been placed away from their bodies, the other suddenly pushing Keith onto his back and sitting on top of him. The two teens laugh as they lazily attempt to wrestle, Keith making no real effort to get his friend off of him. “Just how drunk are you?”

“Drunk enough to be attracted to you, so as the boys say, I must be munted.”

There’s a moment, a spark that Keith can see in James’ eyes, soon enough his arms are pinned above his head, the grip isn’t tight, if Keith tried moving he’d likely be able to get free without any resistance. He had James right where he wanted him in truth. “You’re way too thirsty.” James’ face is close to his, his breathing not all that heavy but Keith’s able to feel the small puffs teasing his lips. All he has to do is tilt his head up and their lips are pressed together.

In truth he half expects James to push him away.

To make some teasing remark about not wanting to fuck with people that still think mullets are cool, but he doesn’t. In fact if anything James deepens the kiss. That taste of the fake Orange UDL is no better on the tongue of someone else. They should have stuck to beers, asked for a slab of something equally atrocious but not quite so sweet.

James though, he never would have thought the other would be a good kisser, let alone a controlling one. Keith didn’t need anyone to guide him but he physically couldn’t do all that much so he willingly allowed himself to submit. 

Unfortunately as suddenly as it started it was over.

James sitting back up, still straddling Keith and looking satisfied with himself. If Keith had never said anything it wouldn’t have happened but they both got something out of that. “You good?” Keith knows it’s a stupid question to leave his mouth, he’s more than comfortable with sustained silences but a part of him does want to know what James was thinking in doing that. He easily could have rebuffed him.

“Yeah… it’s just funny, nothing is a bigger turn off than the taste of that drink.” He chuckles, drumming his fingers on Keith’s chest. They’re soft at first but all too soon they’re punishingly rough, pointed jabs to his chest, any time tries to fight the hand off he cops a whack to the side of his head. “Don’t you wish you were smarter or stronger… reduced to nothing more than a typewriter… a true shame… don’t move your hips like that I don’t want to feel the stiffy you have for me.”

“My cock couldn’t be any more soft listening to you speak right now.” It’s said without hesitation, managing to grab both hands and the tides quickly shift in Keith’s favour, suddenly they’re both sitting upright for a moment and then in an instant James’ back hits the carpeted floor. “If you want something just ask for it, stop acting like you’re only halfway interested.” It’s the most coherent statement that has been made all night. Probably one of the more sensible ones of the entire weekend that isn’t footy related.

The voice is soft, as though in the moment his back hit the floor he’d immediately sobered up. “Just don’t tell anyone.” He should have seen it coming, the glimmer of fear when James had lost control, perception could shift so quickly and golden boy couldn’t have that, not in their school or around their mates.

“Who would I tell?”

“Keith!”

He takes a deep breath, pushing himself off of the other, reaching a standing position before looking back down at James, he looked so small, they both knew Keith wasn’t the kind of asshole to out someone. “You know I wouldn’t. I’d tell people you spewed everywhere after goon of fortune, or that you dropped a sitter…” He pauses, partly wanting to clear his drunken and foggy thoughts but also wishing he was far more intoxicated to do this. Dealing with this vulnerable side wasn’t something he could handle right now. “I think I need to be a lot more drunk or sober to consider revisiting this.”

He gathers a few of the empty cans that are scattered around the floor, placing them on the table, downing his drink without a thought before sitting it down with the rest of them. “What are you doing?” He spares a glance back, James is still lying flat on his back, his head tilted in Keith’s direction, waiting for his next move.

It would be easy to say something bitter and cranky, something they’d both chalk up to Keith being Keith. “I think I’m gonna go to bed, get some sort of rest before the others come back and start playing music and doing whatever other wild shit they’re interested in doing.”

“I’ll come.”

“You don’t have to.”

“It’s going to be sad drinking by myself, I’d rather pretend to sleep.”

Pretend... which meant he’d either be annoying and try to talk, or he’d lay there over thinking what had just happened, or worst of all, he’d start trying to memorise his notes from class. The third was a nightmare because James had the habit of vocalising those thoughts, mumbling mathematical equations or reciting dates for history class. It was a nightmare, Keith remembered the first time he’d realised what James was doing. There hadn’t been much thought in the matter but James had landed on the floor with a thud, only leading to the both of them trying to fight despite how tired they’d been.

Few words were exchanged between them as they changed, Keith climbing onto the top bunk, at least with only two bunk beds within this specific room they wouldn’t have to deal with too much of the nonsense that was bound to occur when the rest of the team returned. James on the other hand stood in the middle of the tiny room, looking somewhat lost. If that moment hadn’t gotten weird, he wouldn’t have hesitated to invited the other up.

“I thought I’d called dibs on the top bunk.”

Keith pulled the blanket over his body, turning on his side to watch whatever James did next. “Please, they wouldn’t draw on golden boys face. You’d lose your shit and no one likes to listen to your humble brag school captain nonsense.” It was obvious what concerned James, they’d seen what happened on these trips before, whilst they might not have ever attended one before this, the photos of several of the players with dicks drawn on their faces.

“Move over.”

“Just sleep in the other bunk.” His suggestion goes ignored, the body sliding beside him. “So you’re invading my personal space and you’re not going to turn the lights off?”

“Do it yourself prick.”

Like that was an option, James had quickly curled himself around Keith. They didn’t normally spoon in fact any time the either of them even attempted to cuddle the other it was filled with insults. “James… just turn the light off.”

There’s a soft whine, Keith watching as James leant down from the bed, knuckles white as he stretched to the switch, with every millimetre it became more precarious, the chances of him falling drastically increased. Did he want to push him or hold him down so that he didn’t take a spill. The light switch clicks, the room instantly going dark, a small grunt escaping James as he attempts to pull himself up. Keith can’t quite see him in the dark but he can feel the shifting of weight in the mattress.

It’s not long before he settled down beside him again, not quite so clingy but James still placing an arm around him, taking ahold of his hand. They really had stirred up some unspoken feelings in the process of getting drunk tonight. This was his fault, although could someone really be at fault when they didn’t know the effects of this?

After all, who could know if they’d even remember this by morning? He doubted they would ever really talk about it. Unless it was James forcing them to talk about school and their future regarding university they very rarely had serious conversations. Keith’s moving into James and his mum’s place hadn’t been a conversation between the two of them, it had been something that had started to happen and when his mother found out, whilst she’d scolded them, if it had meant getting him away from the foster family he’d been miserable with she welcomed him into the home officially with open arms.

They’d lived together and gotten drunk together almost too regularly but they’d never really gotten to this point. “Why am I such a chicken shit about this?”

“Why are you talking, I thought it was time to sleep?” He probably shouldn’t be invalidating James’ thoughts at this point, but he couldn’t have some sort of emotional conversation when all he wanted was to push out his own thoughts, not fuck up the friendship he did have.

At least James didn’t pull away properly, he’d felt the tug but Keith kept a tight enough grip on his hand that he would have had turn away from him. “Are you pissed off?” So it was the chatty side that was coming out.

“No… I don’t want to hurt you, we’re both too stupid to do something, we both know if we went further it would blow up in our faces. You obviously want something similar to what I want though. I don’t want to talk about it though.”

“Can it be no strings attached and we don’t tell anyone?” Despite saying that he didn’t want to talk, Keith quickly turned around, there’d be no expectations of feelings and wouldn’t have to talk about it. They’d both get some sort of sick satisfaction. “Is that a yes?”

“It’s not a no.”

Once again it’s James that kisses him first. The pair shifting closer together, by no means were either of them capable of sex at this point, but a shitty make out was something Keith had been asking for, for a better part of a year.

Shitty was certainly the appropriate word, the kiss was sloppy at best, the two pressing their bodies together with Keith firmly pressed against the wall. It was a mess but it felt so good, James’ hands gripping his own, the two trying to resist the temptation to pull of each other’s clothing. They could make estimates all they wanted but there was no predicting when the team would come back and when they did it was bound to be exactly in the middle of them having sex. Even if it only lasted a few seconds, someone would walk in and then James wouldn’t be able to cope.

There were few people that Keith cared about more, and he wasn’t going to let James meltdown if people found out about his sexuality. Keith might not have cared about his own image but he knew James cared and he wouldn’t intentionally sabotage it.

The bite at his bottom lip was a little harder than either one of them expected, Keith sharply turning his head to the side only to earn childish laughter from James. “That hurt, you prick.” James doesn’t seem to care, he just continues to laugh to himself and cuddles into Keith, properly trapping him against the wall now.

He easily could have pushed him off or kissed him again but something in Keith’s gut told him to just let them lay there, to allow James to laugh at himself even though it wasn’t in the slightest funny in his own eyes. It was something the other needed to get out and whilst Keith might have been drunk he wasn’t a selfish asshole.

So they both just laid there, Keith silent half trying to fall asleep even though the noise from James was a distraction, that was until it started to sound less like laughing and more like someone trying to cover up soft sobbing. “James… if something is wrong don’t hide it. It’s just the two of us.” He sighed, rubbing small circles on James’ back. He really wasn’t good at comforting people and this was James getting in his own head about something that no one would care about.

He couldn’t tell him that though. It wasn’t comforting and any time someone did have an opinion on it, it would certainly start some sort of stupid fight. “I’m just drunk… and tired…” It’s said so nonchalantly that if Keith didn’t know any better he would have believed him. “God I can just hear Rizavi now.”

“Okay Mr Popular, no need to start bragging about how you have multiple friends.” He joked, rolling his eyes despite the fact that he knew he couldn’t be seen. James shoving him even though it only pushed the other back.

“This isn’t about you, I’m confused and drunk don’t make this about you, cunt.”

“God, you’re so much worse than anyone else I know once you get sad whilst being drunk. If you’re going to have a depression session then get off my bed.”

“That’s rich coming from you.”

“James.”

“No fuck you, I listen to you all the time, about how much you hated living at that place, how you struggle with so much and you are only being a dick right now because you want something from me.”

He wasn’t going to listen to this, if James was going to bring up unrelated issues he wouldn’t sit and listen to it, there were still shitty UDLs to drink. “Fuck it.” James was pushed back further, Keith throwing the blanket at him before moving to the end of the bed, gripping the railing tight as he felt for the first rung on the ladder.

“Where are you going?” No way was he going to tell him, if James wanted to be upset he could do it by himself. It wasn’t fair or rational but he’d hit a nerve and even if he was sober Keith didn’t know if he’d be reacting any better. “Keith… No wait! Don’t run.”

Run. That was a term he hadn’t heard in that context in quite awhile. People referred to him as a ‘runner’ not because he was fast, that was irrelevant, but because he used to run from foster families as a kid. “I want to listen and you made an excuse, so I teased you. Am I not allowed to do that anymore?” He snapped, sliding the door that separated the room with the bunk beds from the kitchen shut, tempted to latch the door but letting his better judgement win out. “What do you want me to do right now?”

“Stay. Not notice it.” So he’d made a mistake in the first place, Keith stepping back onto the ladder, if he hadn’t drawn attention to James being upset then none of this would have been an issue.

“Alright but don’t have a sook about me being a dick later on then.” He sighed, crawling across the bed until he was back in his place against the wall, James offering up some of the blanket. “We need to sleep before the people who got to have fun tonight get back.”

“God they’re going to be so annoying.” James groaned, grabbing Keith’s hand as he rolled onto his stomach. “Griffo… Keeeeeeeith… you missed out on so much, Stevo got rejected by like five girls. Fuckin’ best night lads, you should come along next time. Then they’ll start laughing about both of us being months away from eighteen.” His impression was surprisingly accurate, although he slurred his words less than what Keith imagined the team when they came in.

“They’ll probably play Horses at least five times.” Keith sighed, closing his eyes at the thought of listening to twenty grown men shouting out the chorus.

He got a small laugh along with a squeeze to his hand, Keith taking that as the response that they could stop talking now, start attempting to get some shut eye even if it wasn’t entirely realistic that they’d get any.

It was so quiet, the ‘bedroom’ having no windows and there not seeming to be too much wind, it was just the sound of the two of them breathing, Keith able to assume James had fallen asleep until he realised he was humming softly, humming that very quickly turned into singing; “That’s the way it’s gonna be little darling, you’ll go riding on the horses, yeah.”

“You’re the worst.”

**Author's Note:**

> There will be more of this that isn't just Jeith, will still be insanely australian and will be the country australian teenage experience, none of this Sydney, Melbourne, Perth garbage


End file.
